Being in a relationship or finding a perfect soul mate is the biggest decision of life. And irony is that there is no copy book formula for it. This is the reason many leave it to the destiny, calling marriage is god’s decision. There are some practical folks who put a lot of effort in this regard. They upload their profiles over various dating sites, marriage portals, social media, etc. This process begins from early 20s (from teen ages for some), and continue until the guy loses all hopes.
Why such pathetic scenario?
The simple answer would be, because these people are never serious. Being even more frank, they all want some entertainment or just an opposite-sex companion. There remains an unknown fantasy they deal within. The so-called practical people actually dream about fairy tales, being pretty filmy. All these mentioned above groups of people are basically the ones who are mostly determined to do love marriage.
Well, it doesn’t mean those fall in arrange marriage category are all wiser people. There can be 4 reasons for someone to go for arrange marriage-
• First, he/she is clueless about these aspects
• Second- He/she believes arrange marriage is a better way of finding a mate who can support him/her financially, as you can easily reject otherwise (without dealing with any emotional issues).
• Third- No one gave him a damn; he/she is a loser.
• Fourth- They believe arrange marriage is a wiser way, as they can question, enquire a lot about the girl/boy, use their brain for decision making, etc to select or reject the proposal easily. There is a popular proverb in Hindi, “ Jald baji me shadi karoge to pachtaoge, par, soch samajh ke karoge toh kya ukhad loge”( In English- You will surely regret if marry in a hurry, but there is no surety as well, upon using the brain).
Where is the flak?
Now, one thing common between both the cases (light-heart love marriages and arrange marriage) is that both these groups of people don’t understand the true definition of relationship. They are unsure about the necessity of being in a relationship. The problem with first group or those believe in so-called love marriage is that their definition of “love” itself is wrong. They talk a lot about the heart; but it’s not the heart, it’s their hormonal or sensual attraction which creates an illusion creating artificial infatuations in the mind, which they call the heartily things, or the ‘love’.
The biggest flak in such relationships is that there remains no “commitment”. Even if they commit, it’s done without much observation/realisation, or immaturely. Moreover, these commitments have no foundation; those can be broken anytime. Remember, you have to commit first to love someone or something. There is no scope of judging the adjusting capacity of both. More importantly, there is no observation of real aspects by both people, which can be important from their future perspectives.
Coming to arrange marriages, people here are serious but not in true sense. Arrange marriage if done with giving enough scope for the boy and girl to discuss about their preferences, ideologies, hobbies, life plans, characteristics, etc, clear things up to certain extent though. But still, there is no scope of observance really. How a boy or a girl would know about the real behaviour of her/his to-be wife/husband? There is no scope at all. You can know about someone truly, the way he/she is, only through the way he/she behaves during tough occasions or stress. You can know about how much he/she adjusts you by being close to him/her.
How live-in relationship is better?
If both the boy and the girl are mature, well-educated, intellectual, and so their family, opting for live-in relationship would be a better recommendation. Especially, it is the best option in corporate cities as there remains no social constraints. You can have enough to observe each other living like the friends. After all, these life-mates has to be the best friends.